When I look back at my support system…

I have not felt as defeated as I did this weekend in so long. It was a mix of heartbreak and anger that put in me in a lethargic mood. It was so bad, that I am happy that it happened during the weekend. Who knows what would have happened if it was during one of my busy weeks. Anyway, thanks to a beautiful Sunday in church, I am feeling a lot better now.

We are all human, and we all have those times when our worlds coming crashing down around us. When all there is left to do is get into a fetal position and cry in the darkness of your room. There is no talking about it, because the process of trying to transfer your feelings into words breaks you down every time.

There is a mutltitude of things you can spend your time doing to get over this hump. Some choose to eat, but I do not recommend this because it might leave you at the bottom of another hump to get over. Others choose to exercise, which is a great way to release anger and use your energy positively. Sometimes I like to write poetry or prose in my journal. I do this when any emotions I am feeling are to overwhelming to just feel. I have to write them down in order for them to make sense. Now, some of what I write can be profound, and sometimes I’ll just write a few words that are engraved into the pages of my journal because I was feeling so much in that moment. Either way, it’s calming just to get out of your own head, and release into something if there is no one else there.

This time was different. I did not feel like writing or talking, and I actually deleted my top 4 favorite social networks (Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook) because I did not feel like socializing. What it took for me to get over this hump was remembering the people I had that supported me. I walked alone to church today, and at the end I was leaving to walk back home when I saw my mother and baby sister sitting at the back. Church is always inspiring but nothing felt better than seeing them there (not only because i didnt have to walk home).

This really made me think of all the other people in my life that I do not see every day that have my back. Maybe they’re not sitting behind me in church, but they are their asking me how school is going. They are they’re wishing me luck over snapchat. They are there offering words of encouragement when other parts of my life are falling apart. Today, a friend told me I was an inspiration just because I posted workout snaps on my Snapchat. At church, my uncle told me to get my Ph.D and said to call him if I needed any help (but I think I’ll stop at my Masters). My aunt apologized for missing my graduation bbq this summer, but I told her she had one more chance once I graduate from Montclair State University, and she was ecstatic. All this really had me thinking about the people who are in my network of supporters. My very own cheerleaders who want the absolute best for me.

Life’s not perfect, and I know I have a few more breakdowns ahead of me. BUT When i look back at my support system, I know there will always be someone there to keep me moving forward.

Rejection. Deal With It!

Sidenote: I wrote this post early this Summer when I was down on my luck when it came to looking for jobs and internships. I reapplied to late for my regular summer position, and all positions were filled. It seemed as if no job wanted to hire me as an employee or intern. I stayed positive, I took my own advice (detailed below), and now I am happy that so many opportunities are rolling in. What I learned was to keep moving forward. No matter how hard it may be; stay positive, pray, rethink what you may be looking for, and keep going.

In the Communications career field, one has to grow thick skin to deal with rejection. Whether it is your idea, pitch, or story, their is a gatekeeper employed to control what gets the go-ahead and what gets the boot. This also applies to the job process where a Communications professional (or any professional) first deals with rejection. Now, I don’t mean “Deal With It” in the condescending manner. I mean “Deal With It” as in take the steps to assess what you did or did not do, and grow from it.

First, CRY! Well, if it is something you really wanted, and you need to have a quick breakdown then by all means, GO AHEAD! Finding a job in Communications is like a talent show. The person hired usually has the best display of talent (portfolio/experience/resume). Some applications for internships, and jobs are demanding and extensive. You spill your whole heart into your resume, cover letter, writing samples to highlight the best version of you. So, when rejected, you may battle with what your worth is, and not feeling good enough (I often go through this). If you are not chosen by one employer, know there will be (and is) an employer that will realize your worth. Get back on your feet after falling. Don’t waste to much time at this stage because you may miss opportunities.

What I often do after rejection (or being approved) is reevaluate my application. I take a look and try to realize for myself what I might have done right or wrong. This can be followed by emailing the employer and asking them to give you their thoughts and concerns on your application. Not many employers have time to do this because of their busy schedules. Emailing an employer for feedback on my application has only been successful once. It is always worth the try!

Get help from a job counselor or your school’s career services. I have received so much help from my school’s career services. I learned how to format my resume, job interview etiquette, and make good use of the Lion Career Network. LCN is Penn State’s site for job and internship postings. Continue to take advantage of these services even after rejection.

Now you may move on. You have dealt with being rejected, and can understand what move to make next. Stay positive and you’ll have better luck next time.

Celebrity Dress Alike: Bella Thorne

Today i attended a Laua-themed rooftop day party in New York City. There is nothing Laua-y about my outfit, but i was inspired by the beautiful actress, Bella Thorne! A cute, casual look that was so comfortable, and allowed me to stay cool while navigating the streets of NYC.

20140616-022147-8507624.jpg
Top: old/idk
Jeans: my brother’s LRG jeans that I DIY’d
Shoes: GoJane.com

Oh risqué Rihanna!

It is no secret that Rihanna is a fashion favorite amongst many famous fashion designers. That is why she is very deserving of the CFDA (Council of Fashion Designers of America) Fashion Icon award that she received yesterday, June 2nd 2014, at the Lincoln Center. It is also no secret, the physique that Rihanna is working with under her outfits (when she does wear outfits). To the CFDA’s, Rihanna bares it all in a sparkly, sheer gown by Adam Selman. Now, if you’re going to do the CFDA’s, you have to do it right, but if you are winning the Fashion Icon Award, you MUST SHUT SHIT DOWN. And, so she did.

Rihanna’s risqué fashion choice had everyone buzzing. Fans that loved Rihanna, raved over her and the beauty of her gown. Men made googly eyes at her body. Haters found the sheerness of her outfit to be apalling. I did all of the above. Rihanna no longer surprises me. I expect to either love or hate her outfits nowadays, but I cannot help but say that I loved this dress at first sight. I didnt notice her under breast tattoo, nor her breasts at all. I was completely unaffected by her butt crack peaking from underneath the pink fur stole she accesorized with. All I saw was a shiny, beautiful floor length gown and wondered, “Are those diamonds? I bet there diamonds. No, she did not just do diamonds!” To me, that dress was on point.

I initially seen the picture and reactions scrolling down my Twitter timeline. After scrolling past a few Yayy’s for Rihanna, I found the Nayy’s. My concious immediately snapped back to reality and I seen the body, the tattoos, all that woman under that dress. Now, Rihanna stated herself, that she was no role model, and I never expected her to be. The look just brought to mind the Venus Hottentot of our past, feminist movements, the fight against rape that deals with how a woman’s body is projected, and my little sisters. No way would I want any of my younger sisters to idolize this mess. If we praise Rihanna, and say this look to be OK, then who is to tell how our children will dress and project themselves in the future. At this point, I had a few select words that I thought Rihanna to be. When all my fist-in-the-air, women’s movement feelings subsided I could not help but look at Rihanna with heart-eyes.

You cannot tell me that body is not something to see. If she was not an artist she would have had successful career as a lingerie model. Dont you think?

As I digress…

When you look at Rihanna in the sheer gown, don’t you see a modern day Josephine Baker? Well after watching the Wendy Williams show today, I learned, from guest star Kimberly Elise, that Rihanna’s look was inspired by the late Josephine Baker. She was the first African American female, famous, internationally, for her dancing, singing, and acting. Today, June 3rd, she would have been 104 years old, and Rihanna’s look was an ode to the young Josephine Baker. To me that just seems well played by Rihanna, her fashion team, and Adam Selman.

What do you think of this look? It’s obvious the dress, Rihanna, and all the buzz, rode me on an emotional rollercoaster. As I further digress, I feel now that the look was well-played IF it is true that it was inspired by the ever-so-talented entertainer, Josephine Baker. Rihanna won the Fashion Icon award. She deserves it.

Happy Birthday and Rest in Peace Josephine Baker.

Josephine Backer

The image i posted to Instagram comparing the two entertainers.

The image i posted to Instagram comparing the two entertainers.

Pennsylvania State University Alumni

With the Nittany Lion

With the Nittany Lion

Sunday, May 11th 2014, I joined the largest alumni association in the world, and I can now call myself a Pennsylvania State University GRADUATE! Nothing feels more amazing than knowing I gave my mother the best Mother’s Day gift ever. Unlike my high school graduation, not a single tear dropped yesterday. I came, I saw, I conquered, and it is finally time to conquer new beginnings. I am ready for my many successes and failures in the “real world”. Let me just relish in the fact that I graduated, first!

The Return – An African City

Hailed as the African Sex and the City, a new web series follows the lives of 5 young women returning home to Africa. An African City takes place in Accra, the capital and largest city of Ghana. You can watch 15 minute episodes on Youtube, and suscribe to An African City.

I first learned of this show from my Media Theory professor. He knew I would be interested because I was African, and I had previously expressed my love for the show Sex and the City. I made note to watch this web series when I had time.

One episode in, and I love it! Episode 1, The Return, addressed every African-girl-in-America-to-long issue there could be. Nana Yaa arrived in Accra from New York, and could not rest her feet on Ghanaian soil long enough before she was confused for an American girl. After showing identification with her African name on it, she was told she does not look or sound Ghanaian. This is funny because I went through the same thing just last week when a Ghanaian man came into my job. Instead, I did not look or sound Nigerian. To my dismay, Africans are still shocked that their are other Africans that do not look or sound like them. Yes, there are vivacious, young, communities of Africans in almost every state of America now.

The episode followed Nana home where she was greeted by her parents. She is upset to find that the clothes she left behind were given away to relatives by her mother. Now I have not came accross this issue, being that I live in America with my mother, but I know how it feels. I remember having cousins visit from Africa, and they would come into my room,and ask for my things as if I suddenly had no use for them. Funny now, but at the moment I wanted to scream as my cousin 3 shades darker walked out with my makeup foundation.

Nana then meets with her old girlfriends for dinner, as we learn of other countries, Sierra Leone and Kenya, represented in the show. They talk about all the advantages of moving back home, as well as disadvantages. Such as booming business; big government contracts, and making $30,000 per sale for shea butter. Now, $30,000 (USD) is ideal for an U.S. college graduates salary, but making that much for selling shea butter has me thinking I went to school for the wrong reasons (LOL). They also talk about the consistent beautiful weather all year round, beaches, and natural foods. Even being able to pick up “designer” items for cheap, at the side of the road, without having to leave the car.

On the other hand, they discuss some trials they had to go through coming back home to Accra. One must always remember common mannerisms, like never do ANYTHING with your left hand. That rule is still very important for Africans in America, but it is mainly aimed at parents. In this case, Nana handed her menu to the waiter with her left hand and was looked down upon for it. Also, being a lover of all things meaty and spicy, as the vegetararian, Ngozi (representing Nigeria) orders her plain meal.

One of the biggest issues discussed was love! Makena (Kenya), the unemployed lawyer, explained her tribulations with being confused for a full time chef. She recently had a break up with a man that wanted 3 cooked meals per day. This is one of the biggest issues for any African girl, but not much of an issue if you can cook. I learned how to cook, for myself, in college when I realized I could not survive off fast food, and snacks. I still know how to cook, for myself, and I am glad I learned. Sadly, I just no how to cook 1 portion meals for myself(LOL). Nana’s group of friends all hinted towards her love life as they asked if she came back to see a certain somebody. She explained that she is back in Ghana for only work, but as she excuses herself for the bathroom she catches the eye of an assumed old flame and runs away. The last scene she is outside crying when her friend comes out to comfort her.

“Their are 7 billion people in the world. Every once in a while one of those people find his or her way back home for, or not for, LOVE.” -Nana Yaa

The episode left me wanting more, but luckily I have more episodes to watch next. The show is a big step up for African culture. It gives any American a glimpse into African city life. Other Afrikata’s, like me, will feel a little more receptive of the idea of moving back home (although I was never against it). This webseries serves as more reason to go back home to Lagos, Nigeria, and learn for myself what my culture is like.

Watch the episode online HERE!

Deconstructed Martinis and Bored VIPs – Love New Smirnoff Campaign!

0:01 and 2:09 are my favorite parts

I have never thought to put Smirnoff at the top of my list of vodkas to buy until now. I love this Smirnoff campaign. Adam Scott and Alison Brie are the perfect pair, with her peppy spirit, and his sarcastic attitude. Different elements of throwing a party are addressed, from picking the liquor to the morning after. I would be the one to know this process so well. My favorite part is at 2 minutes and 9 seconds when Brie pulled Scott into the VIP section of glum, bougie, party-goers. I have a personal vendetta against all things “VIP sectioned”, and Smirnoff depicted what I truly dislike about them without losing either audience. While Smirnoff could be chilling in an ice bucket in your “cool” VIP, it’s also swirling in your glass in the middle of the dance floor where the fun is at.

Anyway, I suggest you pick up some Smirnoff. I have!